Monday, 30 November 2015

This celebrity mom loves having "never-been-schooled kids"

by

Sara McGinnis

posted in Celebrities

The more I talk about different approaches to living, the wider variety of ways families go about their lives I see was happening in front of me all along. Recently I spoke to three families who travel the country full time with their families by RV, "road schooling" their kids, and then connected on the topic with Rachel Singer via Twitter.

If her name or face rings a bell, you've perhaps seen this mom of two in Fight Club, The Green Mile, or What Lies Beneath. After chatting a bit I found out she and husband Tom Lamb have chosen the "unschooling" route for their 12-year-old daughter Vivian and 7-year-old daughter Celeste.

Curiosity piqued, I reached out to Rachel to ask her some further questions via email. A look at what she told BabyCenter...

What does "never-been-schooled" mean for your family? What's your general approach to education?

Our girls have literally never been schooled, i.e. they’ve never been to any kind of school, including pre-school. They have taken and continue to take various classes via homeschool programs and co-ops plus activities that include schoolkids (gymnastics, dance, music…), but these are of their own choosing. Our general approach to education is self-directed, home-based learning, aka unschooling, life learning, natural learning.

I describe it to adults as learning the way adults do: based on interest and necessity, wants and needs. I describe it to schoolkids as learning the way they did when they were babies/toddlers (i.e. pre-school ages): exploring the world around them in an organic way as they naturally do, following their curiosity, learning without specific instruction as they did when they learned to walk and talk.

What led you to decide to educate this way?

I was introduced to the idea of homeschooling by a fellow mom at a library storytime when Vivian was a baby. We connected because we both used cloth diapers for our babies (I also used Elimination Communication). My first thought was that homeschooling must be so much work for the parents, but Vivian (and later Celeste) quickly taught me otherwise because they are the leaders in their own educations and supporting them in their endeavors is a joy (we have our moments, of course, but our family life overall really is wonderful).

Our path toward unschooling began with a book I checked out of the library soon after my chat with the fellow mom; I read The Unschooling Handbook by Mary Griffith and the idea of children learning naturally from the world as well as being with their parents just made sense to me.

unschooling

What does an average day of learning look like for your kids?

Our days include a great deal of freedom, which means they vary in terms of activities, but an average week includes various classes (currently gymnastics, science, art, ceramics, and swimming), time with friends, a homeschool park day, time in nature (including bird walks as Vivian is a birder), and time at home doing all sorts of things like reading (I sometimes say the library is our curriculum; both girls read a lot and I still read with each of them), writing (Vivian wrote a chapter book that’s on the shelf at our local library and she has her own blog; one of Celeste’s poems was included in an anthology of kids’ poetry; both girls collaborate on creating a monthly newsletter for family and friends), drawing (Celeste draws often, like her artist father), making, playing, building, baking, cooking, calculating, thinking, problem-solving, computing, experimenting, exploring, etc. Vivian also has an Etsy shop. Everything is self-directed with guidance as needed.

What do you think learning will look like down the line as they age?

I think they will probably continue on this life learning path and their interests, skills, and projects will naturally become more sophisticated as they age. Their learning has never been curriculum-based so typical high school subjects will likely only be explored if those subjects are relevant to what they want or need to know. I’m sure they’ll also become more involved in the larger community both locally and beyond as kids do in their journey toward adulthood. Time will tell whether college might be part of their respective futures.

Have you received any comments/criticism about your choices? If so, how do you respond?

Most people who know Vivian and Celeste can see “the proof is in the pudding” in terms of their accomplishments, abilities, and well-being. Early on when Tom was working outside our home in Los Angeles (doing Visual Effects), he received some criticism from colleagues who just didn’t understand how our children would learn “what they needed to learn” without any schooling. Because I was home with the girls (I resumed my acting career in 2015 after taking hiatus and doing some work from home), it took more time for Tom to recognize all the benefits and the fact that Vivian and Celeste were each learning all the basics and so much more.

The socialization comment is rather cliche at this point, and an unfounded concern for unschoolers who are so fully engaged with the world as most are; socializing with diverse ages and people is more natural and beneficial than being separated into classrooms with only peers of the same age. The only other criticism I’ve heard is that our girls are with their parents too much (Tom now has a home business) so there is a concern for some about their independence. To this I respond that unschoolers like our kids have a healthy independence that stems from their freedom and the fact that they are completely self-directed. It’s sad to me that such people view more family time as a negative when the bonds we have as a family are such a positive aspect of our unschooling lifestyle and the girls are so self-assured and of course do have time away from their parents. Mostly when people are able to see beyond their “school goggles,” they understand and appreciate family-centered natural learning.

Rachel, whom you're also welcome to connect with on Twitter, went on to tell BabyCenter that even though she's aware unschooling isn’t possible or desirable for everyone, it’s more doable than many seem to think. In fact, there are single parents who unschool, and has found that most unschoolers her family knows live simply on lower income levels.

How does (or will) your family educate your kids? What led you to go that route over another?

Photos: Rachel Singer via Pop Studio Photo

 

A look back at what the three RV families I spoke with shared about their lifestyle:

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