Trista Sutter grapples with being called "just a mom"

by

Sara McGinnis

posted in Celebrities

Trista Sutter and her husband Ryan are among the few who seem to have found real love on a reality show, and today their lives are centered around raising son Max and daughter Blakesly.

She's known to much of the world as the first Bachelorette, and to her little ones she's Mom, but who else is Trista today?

At a recent TEDxVail speech the 43-year-old delved into the subject, recalling an exchange she had with her son:

“It was a couple of days before the first day of school and … I was preparing the Pinterest-inspired poster boards that my kids would naturally hold for the obligatory photo commemorating the day. I planned to include the year, their grade, and just for fun, what they wanted to be when they grow up.

“So I asked them both. Blakesley, our very ambitious girly-girl, immediately jumped up and said that she wanted to be a dancer, a singer, a teacher, an artist, a movie-maker, a nail person, a hair person, a veterinarian, a physical therapist and a mom. Max, our introverted boy’s-boy, took his time. Finally, after a few minutes, he looked up at me and said: ‘I want to be like you, Mom. I want to do nothing.’ ”

Trista Sutter continued, "Wait — what? How could he have said that I do nothing? Does he think that I do nothing? That I’m just a mom? And there it was, those three little words: 'just a mom.'"

“Doesn’t he know that I do anything but do nothing, especially when it comes to our home and our family? I mean, I know I don’t have a flashy title like race car driver, inventor, or CEO or lawyer or even firefighter, like his dad, but it’s not like I sit around on our couch all day long. Just like all the other hardworking, stay-at-home parents I know, I spend my days picking up this, putting that away, cooking, cleaning … and anything else necessary to help keep a roof over my family’s heads, food in our bellies and smiles in our faces.”

“Really, I’m most-known for handing out roses on the first season of a reality show called The Bachelorette, where, crazy enough, I met and fell in love with the man of my dreams … and now, I’m just a mom.”

Urging others not to give into negative thoughts about themselves she continued, "Ever said that you were just a something? If so, then you should know that what I’ve learned is instead of protecting yourself, you’re actually the one holding the hammer that’s chipping away at your own self-worth."

And she's even managed to put a positive spin on Max's comment.

"With a little reflection I have since chosen to believe that in Max's case, what he said was an incredible compliment," she went on to explain. "He saw being just a mom as being happy and fulfilled, giving the phrase the most positive of connotations."

Isn't that a sweet way of looking at it? All the same though, I can sympathize with the way Max's words originally stung because my youngest often insists I "stay at home and play video games all day." That's his understanding of my entire life!

Of course I've explained it's not at all like that, but he doesn't care to adjust his view. I suppose it's kind of like Max, in that my son also thinks his version of what I do is great, but it drives me nutty to have my life boiled down to "playing video games." Can I pretty please be seen as at least a little bit more?

Have you struggled with being just a ____? What do your kids think of what you do?

Join the conversation

Photo: MediaPunch/REX/Shutterstock

 

Reality show veterans who haven't been as lucky in love:

Tori Spelling's breast implants "shattered" Stella's world

by

Sara McGinnis

posted in Celebrities

Tori Spelling's daughter Stella, age 7, recently got the shock of her life when she discovered her mother's breasts aren't entirely natural.

"People are obsessed with me getting my breast implants removed because they're recalled and expired," the mother of four, who is pictured below with her children, husband Dean McDermott, and his son from a previous relationship, said during a recent interview with Lenny Letter.

"That's such a big thing on True Tori. [Stella overheard] and said, 'Huh, your boobs aren't real?' I was like, 'Oh my God.' It was like Santa Claus. I didn't know what to do."

"I said, 'I'm so sorry you heard that. No, they're not. I have breast implants,'" the busy mom went on to recall. "[Stella] said, 'I thought your boobs were real. I just didn't know. They look real.' I said, 'God bless you. They really don't. They're like the worst ever."

"[Stella's] world was just shattered," Tori Spelling added. "It hit me hard, and I felt so guilty...I explained it to her, and she was fine."

Now that she knows, Stella has taken to asking her mom questions about her implants and whether she needs to get them replaced.

"She's very mothering, my 7-year-old," Tori noted.

Isn't it sweet the way Stella assumed her mother was naturally perfect, and even now that she knows still so genuinely cares about her health?

That aside, I'm on board with the rest who wish Tori would get her implants removed (or at least swapped out)! She's already faced some serious health scares, and as the mom of four young kids certainly doesn't need to push her luck further. Wonder what the reasoning behind not having them attended to could be?

How do you think a parent ought to approach explaining their plastic surgery to their child?

Join the conversation

Photos: PR Photos

 

Famous moms who've spoken out against getting plastic surgery:

Kate Winslet has been quite vocal about her stance on having work done. "I will never give in," she proclaimed in 2011. "It goes against my morals, the way that my parents brought me up and what I consider to be natural beauty."

Her children are daughter Mia, and sons Joe and Bear.

Kate's feelings are so strong on this topic she went so far as to create the British Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League, a vow between herself and our next star mom to never get surgery.

(PR Photos)

Emma Thompson has spoken out against plastic surgery by stating, "It's not a normal thing to do, and the culture that we've created that says it's normal, is not normal."

She's mom to daughter Gaia and son Tindyebwa.

(PR Photos)

Salma Hayek has taken on the topic of Botox specifically, sharing, "Trust me, I’ve been tempted—but I resist!

"Think about what happens to your muscles and skin if you’re sick and don’t move for a few days. It all atrophies! Plus, if you freeze a muscle in your face, other muscles have to compensate. Once you stop, what does that look like?"

The actress is likely working to set a great example for her daughter, Valentina.

(PR Photos)

Judi Dench, who celebrated her 80th birthday in 2014, has earned the admiration of her peers for saying no plastic surgery.

Actress Kim Cattrall said once, "I look at people like Judi Dench, who's in her 70s, and I think, 'What the hell am I frightened of? In my life and career I want to embrace ageing because I think that's what's interesting. I think a forehead without any lines doesn't tell me they've lived a life."

Judi's daughter is named Tara Cressida Frances Williams, but goes by Finty.

(PR Photos)

Funny mom Tina Fey is planning on early retirement over going under the knife. She says, "Your choices are: Get old, or look creepy. I don't want to do it, so I feel I've got to get my money and get out of here before this thing [points to her face] blows. Because I feel like the years of sleep deprivation are going to catch up with me."

She's mom to daughters Alice and Penelope.

(PR Photos)

In 2010 Meryl Streep said, "To each his own. I really understand the chagrin that accompanies ageing, especially for a woman, but I think people look funny when they freeze their faces."

This Oscar-winning actress is mom to four! Her daughters are Mamie, Grace and Louisa, while her son's name is Henry.

(PR Photos)

“I just don’t know if I want to mess with that,” Diane Keaton has shared. “The point is, no matter what you do, you’re going to get older and you won’t be here forever. So how do you grapple with it? How do you feel good about yourself?”

Diane is mom to son Duke and daughter Dexter.

(PR Photos)

Jamie Lee Curtis: “I am appalled that the term we use to talk about aging is ‘anti,’” she once blogged. “Aging is human evolution in its pure form. Death, taxes and aging …. We are ALL going to age and soften and mellow and transition.”

Her children are daughter Annie and son Thomas.

(PR Photos)

Julia Roberts thinks of her children on the rare instance she's tempted to have something done.

“It was not a cute look for me,” she said after experiencing Botox's frozen-face syndrome. “My feeling is, I have three children who should know what emotion I’m feeling at the exact moment I’m feeling it.”

She's mom to daughter Hazel, and sons Phinnaeus and Henry.

(PR Photos)

Brooke Shields has flirted with having work done, but is careful not to go too far. In 2010 she explained, "I want laser treatment because I'm not a fan of my wrinkles, but I have to find someone with a light touch. I'm scared I'll end up looking like the Joker."

Her daughters are Grier and Rowan.

(PR Photos)

Sigourney Weaver believes "life should put lines on your face."

“I find that look scary,” she once said in an interview. “I like getting older. There’s nothing more inspiring to me than a woman in her 70s who’s full of life and still useful. I never notice age in people’s faces. I just look at the whole person.”

The Aliens actress is mom to a singleton, daughter Charlotte.

(PR Photos)

Julianne Moore is wary of having work done becoming too common. She is quoted as saying, “Cosmetic surgery itself starts to look normal, and we lose track of what a real face is like.”

This star is mom to son Caleb and daughter Liv.

(PR Photos)

In 2007, Jodie Foster told People magazine, "'It's not my thing. I don't have anything against it for other people. Whatever they want to do, I'm fine with it. For me, it's really a self-image thing. Like, I'd rather have somebody go, 'Wow, that girl has a bad nose' than 'Wow, that girl has a bad nose job.'"

She is mom to sons Charles and Kit.

(PR Photos)

First-time father Ryan Reynolds "might be a little bit insane"

by

Sara McGinnis

posted in Celebrities

It's safe to say new dad Ryan Reynolds is struggling to get used to his new sleep schedule. Though his daughter James, whom the actor welcomed with wife Blake Lively, has already celebrated her first birthday, it sounds like they're still struggling to get a full night's rest!

"During those first six months, it’s amazing that you find a way to keep going," the actor explained to Men’s Health. "Just the lack of sleep, and the hallucinations. F— peyote. You want to trip balls? Have a kid and see what it’s like to be awake for a month straight.

"You’ll have moments where you’re like, ‘Did I really ride a unicorn to work? I’m pretty sure I didn’t, but I don’t know. Was Willie Nelson cradling my testicles this morning? It probably wasn’t him, but let me check his tour schedule just to be sure.'"

Even though it sounds like James is starting to sleep better now, Ryan Reynolds is still getting up.

Admitting he’s a bit overprotective the 39-year-old added, "I still check on her in the middle of the night and put my fingers under her nose just to make sure she’s still breathing. Is that insane? I feel like it might be a little bit insane."

Do you think it helps him to know that even if he is a little insane he's certainly not alone? Count me among the many who've been there, done that!

The 15 months my second child refused to sleep through the night is one of the hardest periods I've ever been through. No one moment on its own was too hard, but the culmination of it all was tremendously rough.

To anyone out there going through it right now all I can say is that it will eventually get better -- and to Blake and Ryan I'll add there's the possibility that, if they go for baby two, they'll get a sound sleeper next time around. My two boy were certainly opposites!

How long did you deal with sleep deprivation? Was it different with each baby?

Join the conversation

Photo: Beretta/Sims/REX/Shutterstock

 

A humorous look at alarms to set while pregnant to get ready for up-all-nights with baby, and be sure not to miss Fitbit proof of how a newborn truly affects your sleep!

How Lucy Liu picked baby Rockwell's name

by

BabyCenter Staff

posted in Celebrities

 

BabyCenter7 is a blog series that features celebrity parents you know and love answering the same seven questions with their own personal spin.

In Kung Fu Panda 3 which opens in theaters today, Lucy Liu plays Master Viper one of the members of the elite Furious Five Kung Fu warriors.

She's also one of the newest members of another fierce crew: multi-tasking Hollywood moms like co-stars Angelina Jolie (Master Tigress) and Kate Hudson (Mei Mei) who manage to tackle new ground in their careers with every project and prioritize family life.

Lucy’s son Rockwell Lloyd was born in August via gestational surrogate. Why Rockwell? "I had a short list of surnames, actually, that I really liked. And there was something very powerful about using a surname as a first name to me," says Lucy. "My parents came from China and they met in New York. And I'm first generation. I think that what I wanted was to bring something very much of this world, of America to him.

"A lot of people ask me if it was based on Norman Rockwell, and it wasn't. My mother used to work for Rockefeller University in the science department and that just always echoed in my head a lot. But you can't really name a baby Rockefeller!" she adds with a laugh.

His middle name also has family significance. Lloyd is Lucy's brother's middle name or "center name" as she explains, "And I wanted to keep the same center name as my brother and carry it on."

One might assume nicknames would be a natural -- Rocky, The Rock -- but Lucy is not a fan. "In college he can do whatever he wants," she says, "But for now it's just going to be Rockwell  because I think it becomes diminished otherwise for me. I want him to feel like it's his name and he can say it from beginning to end, you know?"

See what else Lucy has to say about her very handy secret talent and her favorite moment so far with her little guy.

 Motherhood is ...

... absolutely magical. 

My secret talent is...

... staying calm in emergency situations.

My parents were right about ...

... enjoying life.

My favorite comfort food is ...

... breakfast any time of the day or night.

My favorite recent family moment was ...

... when I was feeding Rockwell and he smiled at me for the first time. 

 

If I can't have world peace, I'll take ...

... no traffic anywhere in the world.

 

When my kid falls asleep, I ...

... love watching him. He makes all sorts of hilarious faces and you can even see when he’s dreaming.

 

Give us your answers to the BabyCenter7 in the comments below! And see how Scott Foley, Jane Krakowski, Taye Diggs, and Amanda Peet answered our questions.

Photo credits: DreamWorks Animation