Trista Sutter grapples with being called "just a mom"

by

Sara McGinnis

posted in Celebrities

Trista Sutter and her husband Ryan are among the few who seem to have found real love on a reality show, and today their lives are centered around raising son Max and daughter Blakesly.

She's known to much of the world as the first Bachelorette, and to her little ones she's Mom, but who else is Trista today?

At a recent TEDxVail speech the 43-year-old delved into the subject, recalling an exchange she had with her son:

“It was a couple of days before the first day of school and … I was preparing the Pinterest-inspired poster boards that my kids would naturally hold for the obligatory photo commemorating the day. I planned to include the year, their grade, and just for fun, what they wanted to be when they grow up.

“So I asked them both. Blakesley, our very ambitious girly-girl, immediately jumped up and said that she wanted to be a dancer, a singer, a teacher, an artist, a movie-maker, a nail person, a hair person, a veterinarian, a physical therapist and a mom. Max, our introverted boy’s-boy, took his time. Finally, after a few minutes, he looked up at me and said: ‘I want to be like you, Mom. I want to do nothing.’ ”

Trista Sutter continued, "Wait — what? How could he have said that I do nothing? Does he think that I do nothing? That I’m just a mom? And there it was, those three little words: 'just a mom.'"

“Doesn’t he know that I do anything but do nothing, especially when it comes to our home and our family? I mean, I know I don’t have a flashy title like race car driver, inventor, or CEO or lawyer or even firefighter, like his dad, but it’s not like I sit around on our couch all day long. Just like all the other hardworking, stay-at-home parents I know, I spend my days picking up this, putting that away, cooking, cleaning … and anything else necessary to help keep a roof over my family’s heads, food in our bellies and smiles in our faces.”

“Really, I’m most-known for handing out roses on the first season of a reality show called The Bachelorette, where, crazy enough, I met and fell in love with the man of my dreams … and now, I’m just a mom.”

Urging others not to give into negative thoughts about themselves she continued, "Ever said that you were just a something? If so, then you should know that what I’ve learned is instead of protecting yourself, you’re actually the one holding the hammer that’s chipping away at your own self-worth."

And she's even managed to put a positive spin on Max's comment.

"With a little reflection I have since chosen to believe that in Max's case, what he said was an incredible compliment," she went on to explain. "He saw being just a mom as being happy and fulfilled, giving the phrase the most positive of connotations."

Isn't that a sweet way of looking at it? All the same though, I can sympathize with the way Max's words originally stung because my youngest often insists I "stay at home and play video games all day." That's his understanding of my entire life!

Of course I've explained it's not at all like that, but he doesn't care to adjust his view. I suppose it's kind of like Max, in that my son also thinks his version of what I do is great, but it drives me nutty to have my life boiled down to "playing video games." Can I pretty please be seen as at least a little bit more?

Have you struggled with being just a ____? What do your kids think of what you do?

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Photo: MediaPunch/REX/Shutterstock

 

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