Gwyneth Paltrow is finding it terribly difficult to raise a daughter in the modern world.
The actress, who is mom to 12-year-old daughter Apple (and 10-year-old son Moses), recently opened up about wanting to let her daughter express herself but not be too provocative.
The Daily Mail notes Gwyneth "is concerned young girls are being brainwashed by 'post-feminist imagery' that portrays provocative behaviour as empowerment."
Speaking at the China Exchange in London on Thursday, the 43-year-old said:
"It is concerning because I think there is a very denigrating set of imagery and behaviours happening. Women are so powerful and so capable and to have it inferred that you have to generate yourself in any way to be likeable is abhorrent to me. With my daughter I try to find a balance of being an example for her as a woman who … works and tries not to go out in public naked."
Regarding Apple, Gwyneth Paltrow went on to say:
"I am her mum but at the same time I want her to express herself. Sometimes it is hard when she is wearing something really, really short and a lot of make-up and I have to resist the instinct as I want her to experiment and find her own identity. It is an interesting balance right now being a mother of a coming-of-age girl as there are a lot of conflicting messages in our culture."
And though I'm not a mom to any daughters, I'm totally feeling Gwyneth on this one. Where the heck is the line between being free to express yourself and going overboard?
In general, I believe women should look and dress however they like, but in practice it's a bit more complicated. A grown adult who's showing a lot I can simply ignore, but a tween? All of a sudden there's a whole mixture of feelings brewing up.
The fear, I think, is that young girls are getting the message showing off their bodies means they're empowered. Body confidence is an important aspect of life, but there's so much more to it all. Everyone's body changes over time, but knowing you're smart, or creative, or any number of other attributes builds in a lasting way from the inside out.
All I know for sure is I get what Gwyneth is saying. It's complicated.
What do you make of Gwyneth Paltrow's thoughts on empowerment and young girls' choices?
Balancing career and motherhood isn’t easy. Some moms will probably tell you it’s virtually impossible. These days you need a tribe in order to do it all; just ask actress Lake Bell.
I recently had a chance to speak with Bell about her role in the new animated film, The Secret Life of Pets. She spoke about playing the cynical but loveable cat, Chloe, and she also talked candidly about career and motherhood.
We met at the Conrad Hotel in Manhattan along with fellow cast members, Eric Stonestreet and Kevin Hart as well as other bloggers. But, It didn’t take long for Bell and I to make a connection.
Although we were instructed to ask questions pertaining to the movie, I couldn’t help piggybacking off a comment Bell made regarding challenges she’s faced being a new mom.
Stacy-Ann Gooden: You mentioned kids. How many kids do you have?
Lake Bell: I have my 1.5-year-old.
Stacy-Ann Gooden: How has that been trying to balance being a mom and then being on a set?
Lake Bell: I also write and direct, and I do the whole shebang. And it’s like really frickin’ hard. I’m almost like offended when I hear people who are saying they are doing it all. Motherhood has everything to do with why there is gender parity and all that. There’s no argument to say that the mom doesn’t have to be there more than the father.
Stacy-Ann Gooden: Yes.
Lake Bell: By the way, my husband is like an awesome father.
Stacy-Ann Gooden: Yes.
Lake Bell: We co-parent. We both are doing it. But, he doesn’t have boobs. And so, in the beginning, there’s nothing you could do.
There becomes a time in the pregnancy even where you’re kind of tapped out.
And then, you give birth, and you’re like, “Oh, that’s like a vast injury that I have just--.” I didn’t realize that. I thought it was just going to be like, pop, and then I go back to work. And then, your brain is telling you, “You must stay and take care of this progeny.”
And all of that adds up to just quite a lot of time out of work or not being able to work.
And that, I think, is the most noble thing on the planet. I think it’s strange that it’s not honored more in this country, while there are other countries that give a year maternity leave.
For instance, I mean, not to overly soapbox, but I do think it’s so obviously and profoundly noble to have a baby and to raise it. That’s literally, without hyperbole, our future.
And children that don’t get that opportunity to have that parent there and have their mom and have that kind of nurturing presence, you know, that affects our future directly because those are the people who will have problems or not feel connected--and insecurities. And that will escalate to other issues and maybe people who make poor decisions.
Stacy-Ann Gooden: And many of us as moms--we suffer with mommy guilt.
Lake Bell: I know.
Stacy-Ann Gooden: And I’m sure you have. How do you cope with that?
Lake Bell: I mean, it’s like giving me goosebumps. It’s so intense. I think that the key to all of it is just not being quite as hard on ourselves as society is, sort of like-- sort of pressuring us. It’s just important to accept that what you do is very noble and very justified and paramount. It’s the most honorable thing to do.
So, if we look at it like that, and as a whole and as a community, society can kind of systemically change how we look at motherhood and those responsibilities. Then I think real change can occur.
I’m a workaholic. And when I first looked at mommies quitting their jobs to be stay-at-home moms, I really didn’t respect it. I didn’t understand it all.
Stacy-Ann Gooden: Me, too.
Lake Bell: I didn’t. I was just like, “That’s crazy, like I would go crazy.” But then, I had a baby, and I was like, “Oh, oh, okay.”
Stacy-Ann Gooden: And you have to have a tribe around you, too, to even cope.
Lake Bell: Yes, you can’t even do it on your own, and a lot of people do. So, I’m like, “Jesus, they deserve awards,” women who are doing it all on their own, because they don’t even have family. It’s so hard, but it’s also so fulfilling.
I just did my second feature, and I was away from her for like two weeks at one point. I had a weekend in the middle, but I could feel the difference in my daughter. I think that guilt is not helpful for you.
It’s not helpful for your children, and people around you. It’s like you have to kind of give yourself credit, do your best, and take care of yourself. By the way, that gets put to the wayside.
I was so taken by Bell’s candid approach to motherhood. As parents, sometimes we like to think we have it all together 24/7. But the truth is we’re trying to get through each day, while maintaining our sanity and that family bond.
In fact, that’s one of the messages delivered in the Secret Life of Pets. When asked about what parents and children can take away from the movie, Bell said there is a strong message of friendship, community and adventure.
I had the opportunity to see the movie with my family prior to our interview. It was actually my 2-year-old son’s first time at a movie theater and he had a blast.
The Secret Life of Pets is Illumination Entertainment and Universal Pictures’ fifth fully-animated feature-film collaboration. It’s a comedy about the lives pets lead after their owners leave for work or school each day.
When I asked Bell if she’s anything like her character Chloe, she said there are similarities and differences between the two. She says she considers herself a dog person, having rescued them in the past. Despite never having that same connection with cats, Bell said she bonded with Chloe in some ways.
“Chloe is a realist, which I am. But, I am an optimist, and she is kind of a flagrant pessimist. I tend to be sarcastic and sort of silly, and she has that as well,” she replied.
My family and I thoroughly enjoyed Chloe and the rest of The Secret Life of Pets gang. Although I’ve never had any pets of my own growing up, other than fish, I can appreciate why people become so attached to their pets.
That precious bond between owner and pet is undeniable, as seen in this film. It also addresses the bond between pets, and stresses the importance of friendship, loyalty, and acceptance.
The Secret Life of Pets hits theaters July 8th. Also, download the newPetMOJI appto create an emoji of your favorite furry friend! It’s currently only available on iOS, and features sticker packs and a custom keyboard.
Customize your own PetMOJI avatar by selecting a dog or a cat, then choose features for your pet.
In the meantime, check out the adorable animated characters of The Secret Life of Pets.
What do you think about Lake Bell's comments regarding career and motherhood? Do you plan on watching The Secret Life of Pets?
Stacy-Ann Gooden (aka Weather Anchor Mama) can be seen delivering the weather forecast on the news in New York City. But her most important role is being a wife and mom. She writes about balancing career and motherhood in her blog, Weather Anchor Mama. You can also follow her on twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.
What do you make of Gwyneth Paltrow's thoughts on empowerment and young girls' choices?