Have you become more patient since having kids?

by

Carolyn Robertson

posted in Celebrities

It goes without saying that parenthood has a pretty profound effect on all of us.

Alyssa Milano is no different. The actress is now mom to son Milo, 4, and daughter Elizabella, 18 months, and she admits that motherhood has transformed her. Exactly how it's transformed her, though, may surprise you.

"I've actually become a patient human being since I had kids," Alyssa tells TODAY. "Before I had my kids I think I wanted everything immediately, but after having my children I've learned to count to 10, to be conscious of making the best decisions for them and for the family."

More patience since having children? That may seem counter-intuitive to those of us who have uttered things like, "If I have to say this one more time...!" on more occasions than we can count. But if it's true that practice makes perfect, then I should be getting a gold medal in patience any time now. Maybe the fact that I've yet to banish my kids to the attic or to another continent entirely goes to show how truly patient I've become!

While patience may be a positive side effect of parenting, Alyssa admits that being a mom has really put a damper on her social life - and has affected her career as well.

"My social life?" the 43-year-old laughs. "I don't have a social life. My career has changed in a lot of ways also. Not only in the choices that I make creatively, but also just logistically. I don't want to move some place far away from home and take the kids away from my husband because it's really important for me to keep my family together."

Alyssa put her money where her mouth is, as the saying goes, back in 2014 when she gave up her role on the ABC show Mistresses after it was announced that they were relocating filming from Los Angeles to Vancouver, Canada.

"I have two babies under 4. Being a mother and wife comes first and I just cannot uproot my children and separate the family by moving away," she said at the time. "I will miss this job desperately and wish everyone the absolute best."

Looking back to the days before my two daughters were born, I can barely recognize the life I used to have. I do recall the occasional nap on a Sunday afternoon. I don't think I was always in such a hurry, always with two dozen different things bouncing around in my mental to-do list. Beyond these day-to-day details, though, I think the biggest change is that I worry much more than I used to. Am I making the right choices? Am I encouraging them in the right way? Am I disciplining them enough? Or too much? Are they happy? Are they healthy?

I think it's somewhat inevitable, though. I once read a quote that summed it up pretty perfectly: “Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.”

How has being a parent changed you?

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Photo: PR Photos