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Eva Amurri is advising fans of her blog to "grab some popcorn and a cocktail" before reading her latest post, because things get "trashy– really trashy."
You see, the mother of 18-month-old Marlowe and her husband, Kyle Martino, recently had to fire their second nanny due to some craziness. In a post titled "Nannygate 2.0," the daughter of Susan Sarandon explains that after being away on a trip she discovered her husband had been dealing with an epic texting fail (or was it?).
An hour before their nanny was to show up at their home he received this message from her number:
“OMG. Girl, did I mention to you how hot and sex my Boss is. I would love to f--- his brains out ha haah. Too bad he seems not to like thick Latin women with lots to hold on to LOL.”
Kyle was "head-in-hands embarrassed for her," and waited for an apology text (or 12) to follow, but none came!
Returning to their home after breakfast, Kyle "went up the walkway to our home, he looked up at the house and saw her– peeking out of the curtains OF OUR BEDROOM WINDOW" which made him realize the text hadn't been an accident."
Panicked, he dropped Marlowe off and ran to his meeting, but then returned and had the forethought to audio record himself confronting the nanny so Eva could later listen to the encounter. According to her, it went a little something like this:
Kyle: When I came home earlier, why were you in our bedroom?
Nanny: I was looking for you.
Kyle: What?
Nanny: I was looking for you, I didn’t know if you were home (By the way, if you have ever been to our home, there is ZERO reason for anyone except us to be going to our bedroom for any reason. Especially her. Probable Truth: she was in there smelling his underwear. Or something even more crazy that I can’t even think of)
Kyle: (exasperated) Um. Ok. Listen, this morning I got a really inappropriate text from you…
(pause)
Nanny: Oh yeah…Sorry
Kyle: Yeah. Ok. Well… needless to say, it’s not the type of environment I want in the house with you taking care of our daughter. So I’m going to have to ask you to go. I can pay you for today and then why don’t you go.
Nanny: Ok.
That's pretty much it! The nanny made a half-hearted attempt at excusing the text as a joke to a friend, but it doesn't sound as though she put much effort into explaining herself.
Eva Amurri's account of the bizarre firing is hilarious and worth a full read, but at the end there is a sense of just how inappropriate and violating this experience was. How is a mom supposed to feel comfortable leaving her child with someone else again after that?!
Left without childcare, Eva and Marlowe ended up joining Kyle on his work trip, but that's only a temporary patch on the situation. This family is still going to have to find someone they really can trust, and I can only imagine what a challenge that task is. How do those of you that have hired in-home help or use childcare do it?
As for me, I'm thankful to have had my worst texting mishap be only mildly embarrassing. I'm terrible about remembering to select who my message is to rather than just replying to the last conversation still open, and as such once sent my husband and a fellow soccer mom a stupid pic of our stupid cat. Thankfully she got a good laugh out of the whole thing, even making a joke about being glad it wasn't anything more than a cat picture, but yikes. Check who you're addressing your text to twice, everybody!
Photo: Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock
A look at which celebrities won't find themselves in Eva's shoes, as they've opted not to hired help:
Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis are determined to raise their daughter Wyatt without the help of a nanny.
In late 2014 he said of the decision, "We just want to know our kid. We want to be the people that know what to do when the baby’s crying to make the baby not cry anymore. I think the only way to do that is by being the one who’s there."
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In 2012 actress Jenna Fischer spoke out about not all celebrity moms being the same.
“It’s so funny because I think there’s the perception that every [famous] woman has a driver and a chef and a personal trainer and a nanny,” the star of The Office told People. “I don’t have any of those things. Like other working moms, I’m trying to figure out how to balance it all.”
She went on to clarify, "When I say I’m going jogging with my son or eating certain things or whatever, there’s a tendency to be cynical and say, ‘Of course, because someone cooked it for her’ –- or ‘Of course she’s on a date, because she had her nanny watch the baby.’ No, absolutely not. I want people to know that."
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Christina Applegate and husband Martyn LeNoble did it all on their own for half a year.
"I spent the past six months 24/7 with my child, without a nanny," the actress told USA Today before returning to work. "We just got a nanny for this show. It's been us in our little bubble. It's hard to say goodbye to her in the morning. I think about her all day long. I miss her.
"Last night, Martyn got to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers at the Troubadour. Invited guests only show. All our friends were there. Except for me. Just sayin.' It's not Sadie's fault. But someone also had to be there with Sadie. I didn't get to go. Normally, we'd be together."
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Ryan Phillippe explained why he and Reese Witherspoon opted out of hiring help for their daughter Ava and son Deacon.
“I imagine it would have been more difficult if we weren’t as hands-on as we were or allowed them to be raised by nannies,” the actor said while reflecting on their 2007 split. “I think then they would become a**holes. But you’re constantly educating them – we have two incredible little people that we’ve raised. I’m proud of us for that fact.”
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Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling are going it alone as well. Shortly after Esmerelda's birth the first-time mom told InStyle, "I'm a very hands-on mom; I don't have a nanny. No matter how tired I am, I just do it."
A few months later the actress added that although the don't have hired help they are grateful for when family can pitch in.
“I’ve never appreciated my family so much, they’ve been amazing,” Eva explained. “I don’t technically have a nanny, but I do have help. I like to clarify. I’m certainly not anti-nanny, you do what you need to do as a parent, but I’m so grateful that I have help with my family and [Ryan's] family."
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Ryan Reynolds claims he and Blake Lively are loving doing it all themselves.
The father of James boasted to GQ, "I have no problem waking up five times in the middle of the night and changing diapers. And as exhausted as you get, I have this stupid grin on my face all the time. And that’s not because I have a nanny or something like that. It’s just us right now, and I love it."
(PR Photos)
Sarah Jessica Parker's twin daughters are often seen out and about with their nanny, but the famous mom draws the line at having help inside the home.
The wife of actor Matthew Broderick explained to Vogue, "We don’t have any live-in help. We’re pretty hands-on parents. That’s something that’s important to both of us, and we don’t shirk it, because what’s the point in having a family if you’re not going to really participate in it, you know?"
(PR Photos)
Three years before their 2014 separation, Nick Cannon opened up about choosing not hire help for his and Mariah Carey's twins.
The father of Moroccan and Monroe told In Touch, "Nah, we’re not for all of the nannies and stuff. Nothing against anyone who is, but my wife wants to be as hands-on as possible.”
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Elle Macpherson called choosing not to hire a nanny "one of the best decisions I ever made."
“I have help, but I don't have a nanny and it has been one of the best decisions I ever made because I get to participate in all aspects of my children's lives,” the model mom told Tatler magazine.
“I don't just walk in and do ‘good time’ mom. I do ‘wake up, even though you don't want to get out of bed’ mom. I do ‘I’m making you breakfast and I’m sorry but you have to have fruit’ mom. I do, ‘we are doing your homework together whether you like it or not and then we can have fun’ mom. There is a profoundness to my experiences.”
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Celine Dion is a busy woman with three boys on her hands, but she insists on caring for them herself.
“I didn't have these children to not take care of them, to give myself to them 200 - 300 per cent,” the world-famous singer told Gala in 2011. "I am changing diapers and breastfeeding and that's something where no one can take my place. It's tiring but an intense joy. I take things day by day. That's the secret to me."
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Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony started out as anti-nanny when it came to their twins Max and Emme. He said in 2008, "[Jennifer] expects me to help and she makes no bones about it. I get the late shift. I get literally from 10 [p.m.] on because we don’t have a nanny. It’s just me and Jennifer figuring it out. From 10 p.m. to 8 [a.m.], that’s my shift."
After the split in 2011 Jennifer opened up about hiring some occasional help as well as enlisting family members to care for her kids.
In 2015 she told Complex she had hired a "manny" for Max, sharing, "This poor boy is surrounded by women 24 hours a day… He jumps on me and he hurts my neck. He’s six and he’s so aggressive, he’s killing me… and then the manny’s like, ‘Ouch! Ok, Max…’ He wants to rough-house…I was just thinking of my child, so I got a manny, a nice guy, to come in and hang out with him and have fun.”
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Jennifer Love Hewitt and husband Brian Hallisay are raising their two kids on their own.
"We didn’t have a night nurse, we didn’t have a nanny,” the mother of daughter Autumn and son Atticus previously shared. “We haven’t ever had any of that stuff. It’s been really interesting to do it all ourselves."
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Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connel said no to hired help after welcoming twins Dolly and Charlie in 2008.
“We're each other's assistants. We pick up each other's slack. Whoever is less busy helps the busier one: ‘Can you go pick this up for me?’ or ‘Can you book my flight?’ That's what real life is," the actress explained to Redbook. "Once you start paying somebody else to do the grunt work, who are you?”
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Brad Paisley and wife Kimberly Williams-Paisley have relied on family rather than hired help to assist with the raising of their sons, William and Jasper.
The singer previously said of his willingness to pitch in, "I don’t care how high and mighty you are: Change a diaper, man."
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Jeffrey Dean Morgan and his wife, Hilarie Burton, have a "we’ll wing it" attitude for raising their sons Augustus and Dean.
"It’s hard. Between the two of us, we’ve had our hands full,” the actor told People. “But we’ve managed to do it without any help. We have babysitters now and again, but we don’t have nannies. We wing it, man.”
(PR Photos)
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