Eva Amurri writes about miscarriage heartbreak

by

Carolyn Robertson

posted in Celebrities

Actress Eva Amurri was 9 weeks along when she miscarried.

Long enough to have celebrated the news with her husband, to have started secretly hoping for a girl, to have heard her baby's heartbeat, to have staged an impromptu "big sister" photo shoot with her daughter Marlowe. At Marlowe's first birthday party, Eva and her husband Kyle Martino shared their happy news with family and friends.

Then came the shocking, heartbreaking news.

"At my next visit for a routine ultrasound, the baby's heart was no longer beating," the actress reveals. "Just like that, it was all over. I remained in the office and went through the procedure to remove the baby from my uterus."

Though Eva, whose mother is actress Susan Sarandon, hadn't yet announced her pregnancy to the general public, so she could have chosen to grieve the loss privately. Instead, she penned an incredibly honest and emotional account of the miscarriage in a blog post , writing, "I am sharing in the hopes that we can be a light for people going through similar circumstances. And to remind myself and others that there is no shame in voicing our heartbreaks and allowing others to comfort us."

She recalls the day she learned that the baby was gone: "My doctor told me that this was most likely a case of there being an underlying major developmental problem with the fetus, and that it had simply stopped growing. That nature had taken its course in the most brutally honest and simple way that nature sometimes works."

In the days since, she's been on an emotional roller coaster, she says, experiencing confusion, anger, sadness. And, perhaps surprisingly, gratitude.

"I have the most amazingly supportive husband, and two loving families. I have wonderful friends, who have brought me nearly to my knees with their care and compassion during this hard time. And most of all, I have a healthy and happy daughter who I can hold in my arms and whisper in to her ear how much I adore her and how blessed I feel that I was lucky enough to bring her in to the world. I have so much.

Of course what I don't have, and what I never will have, is this one little angel who has slipped away from me. And while it will take time for me to make peace with that fact, it gives me a lot of solace knowing that I told– that I have shared its existence with you, that it mattered, and that we loved it. And that will have to do."

I'm fortunate to have never had to mourn a pregnancy the way that Eva and so many others have. Her story of her miscarriage still moved me to tears, though.

I imagine it wasn't an easy decision for Eva to let the world into such a personal experience, particularly in such an open and heartfelt way. It sounds like it was cathartic for her in some ways to share her story, but I also think it was a very brave and generous choice, one that can only help other women and families who are going through something similar.

Have you suffered a miscarriage?

An updated look at other celebrities who’ve gone public with their experiences through infertility and loss:

Photo: REX USA/Everett Collection