Toms Shoes founder went "off the grid" after son's birth

by

Sara McGinnis

posted in Celebrities

Blake Mycoskie, who is known to most of the world as the founder of Toms Shoes and a philanthropist, has come to a realization about paid paternity leave in the few short months he's been dad to son Summit.

In the latest issue of Glamour magazine the 38-year-old, who is married to Heather Lang, opened up about the shift parenthood has given his outlook on daily working life and how companies should treat their employees. Take a look...

Blake Mycoskie on unplugging from technology:

“After 36 hours of labor, Heather had a C-section, so when the baby emerged, they handed him to me. I was holding Summit for the first 30 minutes of his life, looking straight into his eyes, and wham! I was his. Over the next few days, I adjusted to my new reality: Nonstop meetings were replaced by a Groundhog Day loop of diaper changings, feedings, and ‘baby TV’ (that’s what Heather and I called the hours we stared endlessly at Summit). And baby TV was about as high-tech as it got: I had uninstalled my email service from my laptop and phone so I wouldn’t be tempted to check it.

It was difficult at first. I realized I constantly looked at my phone for ‘important messages’—they validated that I was important. But I soon found that the best validation came from Heather, who kept commenting on how present I was. Going off the grid made it clear: Being fully unplugged is really the greatest offering we can make to the people we care about.”

On gratitude as a miracle tool:

“Becoming a new parent is hard—especially the first time around, when you’re not used to sharing your partner’s love and attention with another human. The moment Summit came into our world, I knew I’d be second fiddle to him in Heather’s eyes. Coming in second can make you feel uneasy, but I discovered that starting each day with a quiet moment of gratitude—almost like meditation— was the best antidote.

It worked so well during paternity leave that, now that I’m back at work, I’ve learned to take simple pauses during the day to count my blessings; it’s a great guard against the chronic stress executives, and all workers, experience. If we spent half as much mental energy on why we love our jobs as we do on why they stress us out, who knows what we could achieve?”

His pitch to bosses everywhere:

“Frankly, it’s nuts that more companies haven’t figured out what a win-win paid family leave is. The Family and Medical Leave Act requires companies with more than 50 employees to give new parents up to 12 weeks off—but that’s without pay, and plenty of families can’t afford to miss a single paycheck. Dads especially, who are still the primary breadwinners in 60 percent of households, miss out on an incredible opportunity to bond with their kids.

That’s a loss for families and also for companies. I have a hugely talented friend who could afford to take only one week off when his son was born; he was so upset that he left for a new job. What a loss to that company! So my pitch to bosses everywhere is this: Support family leave. If your employees don’t return to work more creative and productive than before, I’ll be so shocked I’ll send you a Toms bag.”

Not only do I wholeheartedly agree, that Groundhog Day description of life with a newborn baby is spot-on!

We were among the many families out there who were unable to take paternity leave. Not only could we not afford for my husband to miss any work at the time our kids were born, but he worked at small companies that didn't even have to abide by Family and Medical Leave Act.

I went into labor with our firstborn on a Tuesday, he arrived early Wednesday and my husband returned to work Friday. We had the weekend after that, but by the following Monday he was on schedule as usual. With our second son my water broke on a Wednesday and he was born in the first few minutes of Thursday. Knowing my labors were long my husband finished most of his work Wednesday before coming to the hospital, and then again went back to work the next Monday.

That's a total of four days off for the births of two children. I can't even imagine how great real, paid paternity leave would have been.

Join the conversation

How much time off work did your partner take when your kids were born?

Photos via REX USA, We Are The Rhoads, Steven Pan