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posted in Celebrities
Hearts are breaking in Hollywood these days.
First there was Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, who announced their break-up in June, after 10 years of marriage. Shortly after that came the sad news that Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale's 13-year marriage was kaput.
Now, celebrity splits are nothing new, but until recently it seemed that these high profile couples had somehow found the secret to making love last. They'd weathered the inevitable storms, survived the ups and downs of marriage and parenting together. They were solid. Or so it seemed. So what happened?
Well, there's one theory being put forth: It's the "three-kid curse."
NOW Magazine writer Julie McCaffrey , herself a mom of triplets, explains why having three children could just be the kiss of death: "One child becomes the centre of a couple’s universe. Two children create a perfect balance. But three can topple that balance and tip even the strongest couples over the edge."
Those are some pretty strong words. Let's consider the "evidence," shall we?
The Garner-Affleck crew in happier times
Jen and Ben were already parents to daughters Violet and Seraphina when they welcomed son Samuel in 2012. While both are clearly head over heels with their utterly adorable youngest child, the Juno star admitted that baby #3 meant a lot more work. "“We wanted a third and we had a third, and I wouldn’t trade him for anything. But, you know how two feels like six? Three just put me right over the edge," Jennifer revealed. “I was going up to anyone on the street saying, ‘Would you please come work at my house? Would you please come help me? Just take a child. Do something.'”
Gwen confessed she felt similarly overwhelmed after she and Gavin had their third son, Apollo, in 2014. Though the No Doubt rocker recently gushed that her boys are "incredible," she added, "It gets crazy. Everybody knows that 4-8 at night is like chaos. It's like the crazy time in our house. The other day we were driving home and I was thinking, 'OK Motel 6. If I can just find one and go there and disappear - disappear from my life.'"
Gwen and her boys Kingston and Zuma out and about this weekend
Reality star couple Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick have also reportedly called it quits, less than a year after welcoming their third child, Reign. Admittedly, their relationship seemed a bit more volatile than the others, but they had managed to stay together for a decade. And then there's Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green, who announced their pending divorce last week, after 11 years together. They've had their hands full with three boys - Noah is 2 1/2, Bodhi is 1 and Kassius, Brian's son from a previous marriage, is 13.
So, are you convinced yet? Is having three kids really that tough on a marriage?
I only have two myself, so I can't speak from personal experience. I really doubt, though, that these celebrity break-ups can be blamed on family size. After all, there are plenty of couples - yes, even famous ones - who have managed to survive and thrive after having a third child.
Whether it's one, two, three or more, having kids is tough. Parenting brings incredible joy, but it can also usher in worry, stress, exhaustion, financial strain and time pressures. All of that can certainly test a marriage. From what I've seen, though, having children can only break a relationship that was on unstable ground to begin with. A truly happy and solid union isn't likely to suddenly crack from the strain of raising kids.
What do you think of the "3 kid curse?" How has parenting affected your relationship?
Celebrities get real about how to make a marriage work...
“We’ve been together for 20 years and you have good days, you have decent days, and you have bad days. That’s a marriage. That’s a relationship. That’s a friendship, even. If you’re in it for the long haul and you want meaningful relationships you are going to go through lots of difficult periods.... Kids can really distract you from your relationship. Maybe in good ways and bad ways. It’s important to have all eyes on all parts of the relationship. It’s something you really have to pay attention to. But you figure it out.” ~ Sarah Jessica Parker on her marriage to Matthew Broderick
"You have to keep the fights clean and the sex dirty." ~ Kevin Bacon on his marriage to Kyra Sedgwick (PR Photos)
"This is what I find difficult about talking about my marriage: It's hard to sum up something that's so vital and means everything to you in a sound bite. Do you know what I mean? All I can say is that it's an effing blast." ~ Emily Blunt on her marriage to John Krasinski (PR Photos)
"My husband is a natural born leader. I quickly learned that I had to find a way of honoring his take-charge personality and not get frustrated about his desire to have the final decision on just about everything. I am not a passive person, but I chose to fall into a more submissive role in our relationship because I wanted to do everything in my power to make my marriage and family work." ~ Candace Cameron Bure on her marriage to Valeri Bure (PR Photos)
"Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so. This does NOT mean we have an open relationship... this means we have a GROWN one." ~ Jada Pinkett Smith on her marriage to Will Smith (PR Photos)
"Family is all we have in life, but I don’t know how I feel about marriage. Obviously, I’m not far enough out of being married to think about doing it again. You sort of reconstitute your family. You find a family, with people who come into your life for a reason." ~ Reese Witherspoon, after her divorce from Ryan Phillippe (PR Photos)
"I have a terrific marriage, but unlike a lot of relationships where they ebb and flow, no matter what happens you fall deeper and deeper in love every day. It's the best thing that can happen to you. It's thrilling." ~ Hugh Jackman on his marriage to Deborra Lee Furness
"We got hit with the same lucky stick. From the very first time we spoke, we were on the same page. We love each other, respect each other and try not to sweat the small stuff. And we really make each other laugh." ~ Melissa McCarthy on her marriage to Ben Falcone (PR Photos)
“We still love each other like we did when we first met. We’ve got amazing children…and we’re very happy. We manage it perfectly. Me and my wife–we’re very hands-on… We juggle our lives with our work and in our family, children always come first. So, it’s as simple as that.” — David Beckham on his marriage to Victoria Beckham (PR Photos)
“Pay attention, listen. Those are the basics, got to get those down. I’m lucky that – well, I don’t know if it’s lucky – but I’m with someone whose very low maintenance. If I were to buy her a bunch of jewelry, she wouldn’t know what to do with it. It sounds cliche, but we’re really good friends and have a good blending of giving each other space, but also enjoying each other’s company as well.” ~ Will Ferrell on his marriage to Viveca Paulins (PR Photos)
"We want to be married to each other. That's the main point. You've got to want to be married to the person you're married to. We still like each other a lot." ~ Rita Wilson on her marriage to Tom Hanks (PR Photos)
"Of course I want to get married, but having a baby with someone is way more important." ~ Lily Allen (REX USA)
“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water. The pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” – Jerry Seinfeld on his marriage to Jessica Seinfeld (PR Photos)
"My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me." ~ Jon Bon Jovi, on his marriage to his high school sweetheart Dorothea Hurley (PR Photos)
“Anything that’s supposed to be for the rest of your life is going to bore you from time to time. People make a big deal out of my saying marriage is boring. Everything in America, when you live in a country where food and shelter aren’t your biggest concerns, bores you after a point. You have to do it artificially. You go on trips and go on dates to shake it up. Just try to get some time alone. Just remember why you’re together in the first place.” ~ Chris Rock, whose 18-year marriage to wife Malaak ended in 2014(PR Photos)
"I asked my dad once, 'How did you and Mum stay married for 33 years?' And he said, 'Well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time.' And I think that's what happens. When two people throw in the towel at the same time, then you break up, but if one person's saying: 'Come on, we can do this,' you carry on." ~ Gwyneth Paltrow, who split from her husband of 10 years Chris Martin in 2014 (PR Photos)
"There's a big difference between falling in love with someone and falling in love with someone and getting married. Usually, after you get married, you fall in love with the person even more." ~ Dave Grohl on his marriage to Jordyn Blum (PR Photos)
"I do not joke when I say she is my better half. She really is. I cannot believe what a fantastic life I have today. Ultimately, we both changed a lot. So now I cannot imagine a life before her. I've certainly come to believe that Mrs. Downey and I together are infinitely better than me alone or me and anybody else." ~ Robert Downey Jr on his marriage to Susan Downey (PR Photos)
Photos: REX USA
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